


Politics Can Be Dangerous

by ThinkingofWordstoWrite



Category: The Orville (TV)
Genre: Aliens, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ed continues to find trouble, Gen, Hostage Situations, Hurt/Comfort, Light crack, Politics, attempt to be serious please, author's terrible at tagging, exasperated crew, how does Ed wind up in these kind of situations we'll never know, light humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 14:22:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18317033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThinkingofWordstoWrite/pseuds/ThinkingofWordstoWrite
Summary: Captain Ed Mercer hated being held hostage. Then again, this was almost preferable to a week long political stand-off between four worlds vying for power where they couldn't even agree on what to have for dinner.





	Politics Can Be Dangerous

**Author's Note:**

> I’m still behind on the show, until my library can get me the first season of the Orville, and for that I’m sorry if the characters seem off or not quite right. I haven’t had a chance to see the series from the beginning, and I know this story will likely suffer for it. But I hope y’all like it anyway, and can help me fill in things that I get wrong. Thanks for reading, and hope y’all enjoy!

His first mistake was to think that politics would always be boring. Endless chatter about important issues yet still somehow winding up being a dull meeting with various high end officials all uncomfortable with each other because they barely knew one another. Ed was only there because he knew Captain Archer, who didn’t want this post at all, so Ed decided to do him a favor and attend the meeting. 

That was his second mistake. 

Captain Archer hadn’t asked him to fill in for him, but Ed knew his friend was stressed, knew that things were getting more and more serious at the Council and Earth’s politics were harsh. This had to be a piece of cake compared to the politics there, but even so. He felt as if he was loosing his soul the longer he sat there listening to the four presidents/kings/whatevers talking about their worlds and why they should either join forces or die. Granted, it wasn’t phrased in that manner, but it sure as hell felt like it was. 

And then his third mistake occurred. He’d been steadily drinking water just to give himself something to do as a distraction, and so he’d been getting more and more uncomfortable, shifting in his seat. Finally it grew to be unbearable, and he raised a hand just as one of those four leaders began to speak in a more and more enraged tone-

“Perhaps we could take a break, and rest our tempers?” He suggested lightly, and the alien figurehead glared at him. He inwardly winced-if such a look could kill, Ed would definitely be fried to a crisp. Still, the alien figurehead nodded curtly, and snapped out, 

“Twenty minute recess.” 

Everyone began to jump from their seats and move all at the same time. Ed moved more slowly, afraid if he did they’d change their minds. Lt. Grayson approached him, along with Lt. Gordon. 

“You’re doing great, sir.” Lt. Gordon said, beaming at him. Ed resisted the urge to roll his eyes. 

“I haven’t done anything yet, Lt. Gordon.” He pointed out. “I haven’t even spoken, except just then.” 

“And it was to thwart a-where are you going, Captain?” Lt. Grayson asked, frowning as Ed began to move quickly towards the mens room. 

“Restroom. I won’t be long.” Ed said, hoping that was true. He had drunk a lot of water. He hastily used the restroom, and washed his hands, relieved to finally be relieved. Stepping out of the restroom, he was about to head back towards the large council chambers, when he frowned and spotted one of the tall humanoid aliens moving at a brisk pace looking as if he didn’t want to be spotted down the hall. He stared, and decided to follow him knowing that this could be a potentially bad idea…and not caring. 

Besides, he told himself, if it did turn out to be a bad idea, at least he wouldn’t be bored out of his mind anymore. 

He stealthily followed the alien humanoid down the hall (rescuing a house plant that he nearly knocked onto the floor by accident) and down towards a dark chamber where little filtered sunlight shown through. He quietly used his communicator to call for back-up just in case things didn’t go as planned. 

“Lt. Grayson,” He spoke softly. “I’m following a suspicious character down a dark hallway, well past the bathrooms-” 

“Did you retrieve the information?” The sudden, sharp voice of a male made him fall silent, and he peeked out around the corner to see the alien humanoid standing before a tall hologram of an alien species belonging to one of the four planets that were currently discussing peace talks. The species surprised Ed, he didn’t think anyone had the ability to have holograms just yet, though two of the races were very advanced…he stared and listened as the person he’d followed said nervously, 

“Yes, High Commander, I have. I’m sending the information to you now, and it should reach you by moonfall.” 

“I sincerely hope so,” The hologram spoke sternly. “You have already failed me four different times, and I will not tolerate a fifth. If it does not arrive by the agreed upon hour, then your days are numbered. Resume your normal duties, and wait for my normal signal.” 

Without another word the alien hologram vanished, and the person Ed had been following slumped in relief. Ed turned to head back towards his crew, wondering at what information could be sent that would warrant such suspicious activity-and froze as he came face to face with another of the person’s race…as well as a phaser aimed directly at his head. 

He slowly raised his hands, and said weakly, 

“Hi?” 

“In.” The alien spoke curtly, and Ed stumbled backwards into the strangely dark chamber. The alien he’d followed looked up and swore as he saw Ed. 

“How much did you hear?” He hissed, striding quickly towards Ed. “How did you see me? I was careful-” 

“Not careful enough. I saw you leave past the restrooms.” Ed informed him, lowering his hands as he stood between the two aliens. His communicator was on, and he hoped that his crew were being smart enough to not only broadcast the conversation to the Council but to also come rush to his aide. He knew they were likely searching for him, even now. “You looked suspicious, so…” Ed shrugged. 

“We should kill him.” The alien who’d surprised Ed from behind suggested coolly. Ed decided to call him ‘Killer’-not very original, but then, it was better than some of the other more cliche names. 

“We cannot. He is a Captain of Earth. They would miss him.” The alien he’d been following snapped out. Ed decided to call him ‘Bandit’. Killer shook his head. 

“We can’t keep him,” Killer protested. 

“You most definitely can’t!” Lt. Grayson’s voice! Ed was never so relieved to hear her, and he glanced towards the door to see both her and Lt. Gordon with their phasers out, along with a herd of random guards at their side as well. It looked like the cavalry had arrived at last. 

“Lt. Grayson, great timing…umph!” Ed was taken by surprise when Bandit grabbed him from behind and held him close, pushing a phaser against his head. Ed glowered, even as Lt. Gordon snapped out, 

“Let him go!” 

“I think not!” Bandit sneered, even as he took several steps backwards. Ed decided he’d had enough, and reacted. Elbowing his captor in the gut-was it a gut? With aliens, it was hard to tell what parts of their body was what-and managed to duck around Bandit as he’d been practicing in the gym. With all the attempts to take him hostage lately or to use him against his crew, he figured the extra training would come in handy. 

He just didn’t think he’d have to use it so soon.  
He would have successfully managed to avoid the alien too, if it weren’t for the fact that the alien was *fast*. Bandit cursed viciously in a different language-at least, he assumed it was a curse-as he stumbled backwards, but recovered. 

“Ed! Down!” Lt. Gordon called out even as Ed dove towards the floor. Bandit grabbed hold of his ankle and began to yank him backwards-

And then there was phasers firing over Ed, as he twisted around to kick and squirm away from the alien that held him. He was released as soon as the phaser fire hit their marks, and the alien screamed and fell backwards against the floor. Guards rapidly moved towards them, swarming the area even as Kelly and Gordon both came rushing up towards him. 

“Are you alright, Captain?” Lt. Gordon asked, looking concerned even as Kelly reached down to help him to his feet. 

“Fine. Thanks for the timely rescue.” Ed said. 

“This place is a maze. We would’ve gotten here sooner, but we got a bit turned around.” Kelly admitted sheepishly. Ed nodded his understanding even as a guard approached him. 

“You have uncovered a spy, it appears, Earth Captain. Your discovery will not be so easily swept aside and forgotten. It will be brought up in the next Council Session this evening. As such, you and your crew may now leave.” 

“Sure,” Ed agreed, backing away. He knew these guys meant business, and he’d seen them in action. He, Kelly, and Gordon left the strange area, and went back towards the Council Chambers, each discussing the events and what it meant for the future sessions in the Council Chambers. 

At least he was no longer bored, Ed thought with a smile. And Captain Archer will probably be jealous to hear he missed out on the excitement here after all. 

With that, the three of them returned to their places, and prepared for another long run of discussions in regards to peace talks of the four different planets. 

~*~

End

**Author's Note:**

> -I'm not really happy with how this turned out, but ah well. It's something. 
> 
> -I hope you enjoyed. Kudos, Comments, and whatnot are much appreciated and loved. Thank you for reading!
> 
> -As per usual I do not own The Orville. This was written for my own amusement.


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